Finding heart-centered solutions for your everyday life happens by having good emotional tools. Today we are going to add to your toolbox or kit with the valuable tool called Point Of Reference.

If you are feeling less than, jealous, small, out of control, or you can’t stop thinking about another person and what they have or aren’t doing in your life, then using your Point Of Reference as tool will come in handy.

This tool will help you shift your perspective back into a place where you have power.

You are the author of your story and the main character who lives it all into existence. That’s right, you are the writer, director and star of the story of your life. You are designed to have your point of reference be your heart, being, and consciousness. When your Point of Reference is there you will feel a sense of inner alignment.

This is that place in the Stream Kayak Principle where you are in your boat, floating downstream and in harmony with the river of life. (REFERENCE STREAM KAYAK PRINCIPLE TOOL HERE)

When your Point Of Reference is focused on your heart, being, and story you find that you have the autonomy and power within any situation that comes up in your life. Because it comes form that inner place of alignment; your worth, value, and significance are undeniable and unconditional. These things are fundamental to the story of your life, and as the writer, director and main character you take them into account.

From that aligned Point Of Reference you determine how you feel, what you think and where you focus your attention. You have the ability to consciously navigating your way through your life rather then reacting and responding to other people’s experiences, actions, and expectations.

When you allow other people to become your Point Of Reference, you unknowingly hand over your main character status. In doing this you also give fear the opportunity to become the director of your story.

When someone else is the point of reference and fear is directing your story, your worth, value, and significance are all determined and even held hostage by an outside source.

Fear would have you believe that in comparison you are not enough, and that the other person is somehow better then you. Taking direction from fear, you will believe that what the other person does somehow determines who you are and what you are worth.

In allowing the other person to be your Point Of Reference you hand over your autonomy and power in your story. You allow another person’s actions, thoughts, and whims to determine how you feel about you. And get this… there is a good chance they don’t even know or care.

When your Point of Reference is on them, their actions determine what you think about you. Do you see how crazy that is? This can happen with parents, friends, sibling, and even strangers on social media. When someone else is your Point of Reference, you are setting yourself up to feel bad about who you are and how you are showing up in your life.

Yes, scrolling though social media, looking at other people’s posts, and feeling less than counts as handing over your point of reference to them. They don’t know you, don’t care, and have no business being a main character in your story. So stop it….

Yes, trying to shrink down to fit into a box designed by a family member’s limiting expectation of who you should be, is handing over your point of reference to them. Allowing them to determine how you feel and who you get to be in your own life, will never feel good to your heart, being, and consciousness. It’s time to put a stop to that too….

Yes, focusing on the friend who is leaving you out and treating you like scraps is handing your Point of Reference & main character status over to them. They have no business having that much power in your story. It is time to pay attention and shift your point of reference back to where it belongs.

I could go on and on, but I want to help you utilize this Point of Reference tool. So check in with yourself. Are you focusing on “them” in a way that makes you feel bad? If so you have handed over at least some of your power to them, and it’s time to bring your focus home to your heart, being, and consciousness.

Here are a couple things that will help you utilize this tool.

Indicating Languages:

Your inner langue can help you find when you’re off track. When you use co-dependent langue you have put your Point Of Reference on the other person. Examples:

• I take direction from you about how I feel about my life.
• I need you to do this so that I feel a particular way in my life.

Instead try shifting over to consciously independent language that supports a heart, being, and conscious Point Of Reference. Examples:

• I take responsibility for how I feel about my life.
• I determine how feel and then will engage with you from a place within my story.

Being A Witness:

This is activating that super power of metacognition and witnessing your thoughts from a higher-level perspective. You don’t take direction from the thought instead you witness it and use it to help you adjust your point of reference back to your own heart and story.

Rather then using a micro lens of a camera where everything is zoomed in really close you pull back to see the macro landscape of the situation and your stream of thinking. This allows you to really witness your thoughts as it relates to the bigger picture of your story.

Only you have the power to choose your Point Of Reference. Remember you are the author of your story and the main character who lives it all into existence. Stay curious and use this tool as often as you can.

Let me know if you have questions. I am here to help.

Like and share this blog and video with the people that you love. Subscribe to my YouTube channels and to get my email and know that until next time I am holding a place of love for you where you being the heart-centered main character of your story, is undeniable.

 

The Starter Kit and Hand Book are great FREE resources that can help you along the way! And they are both free to you so it’s as easy as downloading and enjoying.

 

If you enjoy a more hands-on approach you can always grab your copy of the Awaking to Your Story Starter Kit – 3 Tools For Returning To Your Power.

This Kit is filled with chapters to help you move through this very process. With exercise, audios, and videos you will learn three powerful tools to help you shift your point of view, while also learning how to map out your story so you can take back your power over your thoughts.

 

 

You can also grab a copy of the Awaking to Your Story –Navigating the River of Life Handbook. You can never go wrong knowing where you are on the river of life and having to tools to help you through any turbulent situation. You can use the exercises inside to help you stay focused on your re-patterning process.