Awakening TV: Shame & Resistance

Today’s Question:

Dear Alicia –

I have gotten to a place where I can identify my limiting beliefs. I can now see how they are affecting me and I can even discern where I need to do my work, but then I resist doing that work. It feels like I don’t want to act on what I know would help me work through it. Then the shame cycle starts because I am not doing what I should be doing to help myself. How do I stop the shaming and resistance so I can show up and do my heart’s work? – Seeking Honor and Flow

My Answer For You:

Resistance happens when two forces working against each other. You will always have the force of the source energy of love present and active. All the cooperative components of that divine energy are always working on your behalf. This energy holds all the essential truth that your divinity wove right into your humanity.

Now the most typical resistance or second force at play is fear. Fear comes in lots of different voices, but no matter the voice it always stands in opposition to that divine source energy of love within you. This is where you feel stress, anxiety, emotional and physical fatigue, because you have to hold all your energy and focus in resistance to that current of energy of life and love.

When you do emotional or heart work the goal is to feel better. Some sort of suffering caused you want to find relief. No matter what modality of healing you use, it all is designed with the goal of helping you feel better. You look for the places of resistance so that you can shift or change your thinking around them. Again different modalities have different langue around it, but it is all about finding a way back into flow with that energy of source, your essential truth, and inevitably offering you relief from the suffering.

Here is the hitch. It doesn’t happen over night. Your limiting beliefs have become your pattern of thinking and they have held your focus and built up momentum behind them.

Those things you know will help you, they are aligned with that flow of source energy, but the suffering that set the seeking into motion, is still active and holding your focus. Remember, anything that holds your focus is actively building momentum. There is a really good chance that you are resistant to doing the work because those limiting beliefs are still holding your focus and building momentum.

I want you to remind you that all the different aspects and expressions of life develop and unfold like building blocks. Everything builds on itself like the creative process that it is. You set something into motion and then all the components work and adjust, work and adjust until eventually it takes shape.

Healing, retuning to your truth, letting go of resistance, finding flow, and feeling better is all a process of creation. There are phases and ebbs and flow and adjusting your thoughts and then readjusting your thought, and then adjusting them again until you find yourself seeking out thoughts that feel better and are more aligned with your truth.

Now shame is simply a byproduct of that focus on the suffering that set this all into motion in the first place. Shame says you have to be there now; and that was never how it was designed. Shame says you are not doing it right; when there is no one right way to do it. Shame says you should be doing x, y, or z; when those might not be the next logical steps. Shame is fortified by the momentum of fear and holds your focus on the limiting beliefs.

But here is the thing people don’t tell you about shame… Shame is a tool. Shame is a powerful indicator that you still have momentum driving those limiting beliefs. That is it. Shame is an indicator. It is a feeling that was set into motion by a thought.

Here are 4 practical things to do the will stop the resistance and shame.

• ONE: Take a breath. It is not about stopping it; it is about slowing it down, remember it is a process. Give yourself a get out of jail free card and let the resistance ease up a bit. Choose Thoughts Like This Instead:
  • I am exactly where I need to be in this process of healing and creating.
  • My next logical step is simply breathing and watching my thoughts.
  • I can do this because I was designed to do this.

• TWO: Use the shame as an indicator that your focus is on the suffering and not on the end goal of feeling better. In your case it’s about not doing what you should do to help yourself. Choose Thoughts Like This Instead:
  • Thank you shame for showing me that my focus is off.
  • I can readjust my focus on things that feel better.
  • It only takes one thought at a time to shift that focus.

• THREE: Reach for a thought that feels better than the one you are thinking. Remember you are trying to slow down the momentum and you do that one thought at a time. Choose Thoughts Like This Instead:
  • This is actually my hearts work.
  • I am doing it right now, just by choosing this thought that feel better.
  • I am doing it.
  • I can be, do, have, or feel anything that I desire.
  • I can keep moving forward.

• FOUR: Direct your attention to your end goal. I recommend writing down a list of things that feel good. I would do it everyday because it helps to adjust your focus on feeling good. It can be on a different topic each day, or on whatever you have been thinking about are working towards. Choose Thoughts Like To Get Started:
  • I have the ability to feel good no matter the conditions around me
  • It felt so good when…
  • It tickles my soul when….
  • These 5 things bring me joy…. (List them out)
  • The joy in it feels like…. (Bring each thing to life. Sit in the feeling then write about it how it feels.)
  • I absolutely love…

Remember it all boils down to what you are thinking and feeling, so it is valuable to build up that momentum and focus in as many ways as you can.

Ok, until next time know I am holding a place of love for you, where all resistance falls away and that flow with the divine source energy of love is undeniable.

As you watch the video or listen to the podcast version, know that I holding a place of love for you where your path to your truth is undeniable.

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