Today’s Question:
Dear Alicia –
What am I doing wrong? I can’t seem to make my life better. I keep trying but it feels like I am getting nowhere, all the same struggles keeping coming up. Money, my job, my relationship it all just feels like I can’t have what I want. How do I make improvements to my life that I can really see and feel? – Signed – Looking For Answers
My Answer For You:
You are not doing anything wrong, you just are not where you want to be yet. Let’s start by getting more neutral so you can make some more room for possibility. Take all the judgment out and give yourself some space to be where you are and then activate your curiosity.
If you don’t feel good where you are in your life, it’s not because you are doing anything wrong. It is that you are building contrast between what you want verses what you don’t want…between the limiting beliefs that have been binding you and the truth that is essential to you. Every space of uncomfortable contrast gives you language for both sides. If you let it, the contrast illustrates valuable aspects of both the limiting beliefs and the desires.
Volume and focus are wonderful tools. Volume on life’s information is just like the volume on your car radio. When it’s turned up you hear it better, when it is turned down, you hear it less. When there is information in your life and heart that needs to be sorted out, the volume rises.
I talk about this in depth in the Awakening to Your Story Handbook and the Awakening to Your Story – Starter Kit, but let’s touch on it now. In these places of contrast between what you dream of creating vs. what you are experiencing in this moment, most often there are limiting beliefs standing in your way.
These are beliefs that are rooted in fear that have been handed down to you by other who were suffering. These limiting beliefs are what need to be sorted, and part of that sorting, is figuring out what the truth is that takes their space.
Volume comes into play when you can’t seem to figure it out. It rises to help you find the langue around what is ready to be shifted so that you can actually have what you want.
Even these challenging situations are designed to help you. Can you start to see that there is nothing you are doing wrong…. You are simply in the middle of a very valuable process and your contrast as brought you to this perfectly designed place of continued learning and creation. Everything in your life is happening for you not to you. But you have to use it.
Ok focus is valuable because it is the impetus of your constant creation. That is right, you are constantly creating according to your focus. When your focus is on the experiences that are coming from your limiting beliefs, it creates things that don’t feel so good. You find yourself plugged into fear believing all the lies that the liming voices in your head are telling you. When your focus is here it breeds suffering because you are living outside of your truth and in contrast to the source energy of love within you.
But when your focus is set on your truth and things that spring from place of love and alignment, then you find yourself creating in flow and harmony with everything that holds that divine energy. This is what will give you the desired feeling of being “better” that you said you are looking for.
There are endless ways of sorting and focusing so that you can create from this space of aligned focus. I teach a combination of cleaning up the limiting beliefs and then building your focus on the truth so that you can re-pattern your mind to the truths that are essential to you. Again the Awakening to Your Story Book, Starter Kit and Hand Book are wonderful resources to help you through this process and you can find them on the website.
But I want to remind you there is no wrong way of doing any of it. I would recommend starting by taking a deeper look at the other side of the contrast. What does “better” mean for you? If you can’t reach for it, then look to what you don’t like and find the exact opposite of it. This way you start to create language for what you want. So if you feel tired, the exact opposite could be energized. If you feel hopeless, it would be hopeful. If you feel depressed, it could be joyful, upbeat, or ecstatic. You get where I’m going.
As you do that, identify any limiting beliefs that might be holding your focus. Those thoughts that say:
- I can’t.
- I’m not worthy.
- It’s not meant for me.
- I’m stuck in this.
- And the one you offered in your question, I can’t have what I want.
Ok you get the feeling behind them.
These are thoughts and beliefs that were handed down to you by someone on your path; they are not part of your essential truth. So, spend time peeling away the limitation to make way for the truth.
- I can’t – becomes – I CAN!
- I’m not worthy – becomes – I AM WORTHY!
- It’s not meant for me – becomes – IT IS MEANT FOR ME!
- I’m stuck in this – becomes – I AM IN FLOW!
- And the one offered in today’s question, I can’t have what I want – becomes – I CAN HAVE WHAT I WANT!
Now that you have spent some time sorting through the contrast and using it for it’s indented design, you can ignite your focus to help you re-pattern your thinking as you build a space to create from your truth.
Focus your thinking on these new things. Think about all the things you love and enjoy in life to get the ball rolling. Then find as many memories that fortify those good feeling and your truth. Even if you have to start small, start pulling out all the new thought of being energized, hopeful, joyful, upbeat and ecstatic and add them to the “I CAN, I AM WORTHY, IT IS MEANT FOR ME, I AM IN FLOW and I CAN HAVE IT.”
When was a time it was meant for you? Try not to let your focus drift back to the old.
Build that focus in any way that you can. Write about it, daydream about it, meditate or pray about it. Find the feelings you want to feel and flood your system with them in anyway that you can. Watch a movie that evokes those feeling, listen to your favorite music that gets you all jazzed up and feeling good.
Ok, dig in and know that I am always here to support you with tools to help you go deeper into this work if you need them.
Remember creating anything in your life is a process and it takes time an attention. Just keep reaching for thoughts that are more aligned with your truth and know that it is possible. You are worthy of creating and shifting your life to be what you want it to be.
Know that until next time I am holding a place of love for you where the improvements that you can really see and feel are fully realized and undeniable.
As you watch the video or listen to the podcast version, know that I holding a place of love for you where your path to your truth is undeniable.
Don’t Forget:
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