Today’s Question:
Dear Alicia –
I have been trying to find my person for a long time and everyone says I am too picky and that I will never find a partner. I am picky, but it is because I have been through so many bad dates and relationships. Do you think my friends and family are right? Am I being too selective? How do you know if you are being to picky when it comes to finding your person? Signed – A Discerning Dater
My Answer For You:
Be as picky as you want!
Please don’t let someone else’s limiting beliefs creep in and become the voice inside your head. What do you know to be true? What do you believe? That is really all that matters. Well that and how you feel along the way.
If you believe something and feel really good about it or are increasingly feeling better about it, then time becomes irrelevant. You will never look back on this era and feel disappointment. There won’t be room for that. You will look back and see that you were creating the very feelings you desired in each moment you have exercised. You might even find that this era is full of things that tickled your soul and prepared you for the next logical step in your life. When that person falls into place, it will be as magical as these moments you have been creating for yourself.
But let’s have some real talk about the pickiness.
There are two types of pickiness and it really helps to know which one you are being.
Pickiness For Protection Vs. Pickiness For Precision
Let’s double check a few things and get really honesty for a moment, because sometime pickiness comes from a hidden place of fear. So humor me for just a moment and let’s get curious together.
Ask yourself this question: When I think of the person I want to have in my life, what are the thoughts that follow?
Pickiness For Protection:
If you are being picky to protect yourself when you think about the partner you want to call in, the following thoughts or similar thoughts will follow.
- I can’t have that.
- That kind of love is out of my reach.
- Everyone else gets that kind of love but me.
- I’m not pretty, handsome, smart, successful, rich, skinny, enough for them.
- I will be alone forever.
Usually that fear is tied to your worthiness. Somewhere you picked up limiting beliefs that are lying to you. They have you convinced you that you are not worthy enough to have the things you want. The lies have you believing that your worth is conditional on physical things or human factors. Maybe you can even pinpoint the voices of other people that are echoing these lies. I’m not worthy of love because my mom, dad, friend, old boyfriend or girlfriend told me or showed me as much.
If this is the case you might be picky because you don’t believe you deserve love. Don’t worry, this just means your dream is outside of your capacity of heart. And the good news is you always have the ability to shift your capacity of heart. It just means that it is time to start shifting those limiting beliefs and finding your truth. You can always head over to the Awakening to Your Story Starter Kit to learn more about this kind of heart work and get practical guides that walk you through and give you exercise for making these this kinds of shifts.
Now Pickiness For Precision
If you are being picky so you can be precise in your manifestation, when you think about the partner you want to call in, the following thoughts or similar thoughts will follow.
- I am so excited.
- I am thrilled to share my love with someone and create a love together.
- It is all working in my favor.
- It’s coming and I am ready for whatever is next.
- There is nothing missing in this moment and even more is coming for the moments ahead.
There is no fear in these thoughts. Your worthiness is clearly aligned with the divine source energy of love. There are no conditions or restrictions on you, your heart, your being, or your worthiness. Your pickiness is about precision and knowing that your desires are in the process to be realized. Your capacity of heart is broad enough to hold your desire; it is only a matter of time and holding your truth.
Whether you are being picky for protection or precision, your desire to have a partner is still the same. You have to keep an eye on your thoughts and what they are plugged into.
Now longing can filter in whether you are picky or precise so let’s give you some actions to can take when the longing creeps in.
- FEEL if the longing is plugged into fear or desire to create.
If it is fear, it will be followed by thought that separate you from the very thing you want.
If it is plugged into desire, it will be followed by thoughts that tickle your soul and feed into the source energy of love.
- CHOOSE and REACH for thoughts that incrementally feel better and are more tuned into who you want to be and how you want to feel as if that person is already there with you.
- If you find yourself going down the rabbit hole of liming beliefs and fear don’t worry. Just start by choosing one thought that feels better and keep on reaching. You can do this!
Remember getting the love relationship you want is a creation process and that process takes time and attention to your own thoughts. But know this, that the love relationship you have been dreaming of, it absolutely possible. So stay focused on your heart and your worthiness of having it.
And know that until next time I am holding a place of love for you where love relationship is realized.
As you watch the video or listen to the podcast version, know that I holding a place of love for you where your path to your truth is undeniable.
Don’t Forget:
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