Today’s Question:
Dear Alicia –
I have so many goals regarding my health; eating better, exercising, self-care, meditation, and feeling better in my body. Being consistent is my biggest issue. I often find myself acting in direct opposition to what I want for myself. How do I stay on track with my goals? – Dreaming of Consistency?
My Answer For You:
Let’s start by looking at what goals are. Goals are a bridge from where you are in this moment to a place where you would like to be. There was something in the place where you are standing now that made you want to go somewhere different and you believe the goals you set for your will lead you there.
When it comes to your life and the goals you set for yourself are you a creator or are you a responder?
When you are a responder you feel like goals are something outside of yourself that you have to push against. When the negative thoughts come that caused you to create the goal in the first place you respond to it as if it is your truth. You believe what it is saying and in doing that, you are at the mercy of the voices in your head.
When you are a creator you think of your goals as internal tools to help you build what you want. The goals help you focus on the things you want and help you build a language and path to the very place that you have been dreaming of creating for yourself. As a creator you use your thoughts to see where you are and you adjust them as you build. The voices in your head are at the mercy of what you are creating, so when you notice that they don’t fit your desire, you clap back at them with thoughts more aligned with your truth and what you are creating.
Whether you are a responder or a creator your focus is building momentum and creating the life that is unfolding before you. A responder is focused on where they are and how they feel in that place. A creator is focused on what they are building, how they will feel when their creation all comes together.
Remember it is not the words that you say out loud that hold your focus; it is your thoughts and feelings that hold your focus. So if those voices in your head are running circle around the negative stuff that made you set up those goals in the first place, watch out because that is where your focus actually is being held.
If consistency is an issue for you then check to see if you are responding or creating. There is a good chance you are just caught in a loop of responding to the very negative thought that made you want to set the goals in the first place.
You can make the choice to become a creator at any given moment. It can be a simple as shifting your thought incrementally back to your desires.
A creator knows what they are building, better than they know the suffering that made them ask for something different. They are focused on creating and the creation more than the reason it all started. A creator chooses thoughts that feel better and are aligned with all the good feeling that are wrapped up in the very thing they are creating.
So start by claiming that you are a creator. Then just watch your thoughts. As you do, rather than following the thoughts that may be tied to the suffering, choose ones that feel more aligned with your creation. This means you will need to spend sometime building up thoughts around your end goal. Make it a priority and have fun dreaming about it and creating a relationship with the new place you are going. Fall in love with the process and let your heart be tickled as you create.
Let’s look at how a creator might put a negative thought to use. A creator uses a negative thought or feeling as a guide and establishes a deeper foundation and ownership for their truth.
Thought/Feeling: How bad I feel right now.
- Responder: Because I don’t feel good now I am afraid I will never feel good. Feeling good is so out of reach for me. Ugh feeling good is not meant for me.
- Creator: I am a work in progress and I will continue to feel better. Everyday holds opportunities for me to feel good, and even if I don’t see results today, I will focus my thoughts on how good it feels when I do feel good in my body. I can always get there.
Thought/Feeling: The bad food choices I am making.
- Responder: I did it again. Am I ever going to be able to do this? I am such a failure.
- Creator: I will continue to search for things that feel good in my body, and I will incrementally make changes till before I know it, I will naturally choose the things that make my body feel good.
Thought/Feeling: Shaming myself for eating that thing I wasn’t supposed to eat.
- Responder: You can’t control yourself and you never could. Your body will never look or feel the way you want. You’re so gross.
- Creator: I release the shame right now and I will enjoy where I am even if it is an indulgent place. I will continue to lean into a place of eating things that make my body feel good. I will look at my choices and find what is no longer serving me and what is serving me.
Thought/Feeling: Not feeling like exercising or exercising because of shame and a negative self-view.
- Responder: Lazy, you are so lazy. Shame on you for not working out. You will never look the way you want if you don’t push your body harder. Look at those bumps and lump, you can’t have what you want if you look that way.
- Creator: I will find a way to move my body even if it is just a little. I am building a relationship with my body and I will continue to show up for what my body needs and desires. My body does not define my worth. I am worthy no matter how I show up or what my body looks like. I will not choose exercise to define my value. I will choose exercise when it feels good to my body and my being.
Thought/Feeling: The negative voices taking over.
- Responder: You can’t. You won’t. You are not worthy. You are doing it wrong. You are messing it all up. No wonder you aren’t there yet. Failure.
- Creator: I get to choose my thoughts my thoughts don’t choose me. I am centered and grounded. I am divinely supported. I am worthy, I am worthy, oh yes I am worthy.
While these examples are about health goals, you can apply it to anything. With every thought you are creating your reality. So even in you are just responding to the limiting voices in your head you are creating the life before you. Remember change and creation happen one incremental thought at a time so watch your thoughts.
No matter what your goals are, what desires you are holding, or dreams you are dreaming, you have the power to create. You can do this, you were designed to do this, and you are not alone as you do!
As you watch the video or listen to the podcast version, know that I holding a place of love for you where your path to your truth is undeniable.
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