Today we are talking about taking back your power.
We have all been there, that sticky place where we find ourselves reacting to what is in front of us. Trust me you are not alone!
Whether you end up walking away frustrated, having more stress and anxiety, or feeling like you were not the best version of yourself, I want you to know that your power is only a shift in perspective away.
We are going to walk through the Checklist with the example of “being excluded from your group of friends” because that video has gone absolutely crazy on YouTube. But this checklist will work for just about any situation: dealing with a challenging work environment, hard situations within your family, problems with your partner, self-sabotage, any place where there is a challenge and you need to get back into your power try this checklist.
The Take Back My Power, Get Back In My Boat Checklist:
- Shift Your Perspective: It’s all just information!
- Make A Contract With Yourself: I am going to use this moment as an exercise to step back into my truth and re-pattern those limiting beliefs!
- Face The Limiting Belief: It’s all an opportunity here to help me!
- Decide For Your Self: Who do I want to be in this moment?
- Claim Your Power: Recognize that I have the power to choose! “I have the power to choose not to be or I choose to be…”
- Don’t Take On What Isn’t Yours: Know what is emotionally mine, and what isn’t.
- Own Your Truth And Express It To The World: Decide what you want the people in the situation to know and how you want them to feel.
If you don’t know about the Stream Kayak Principle Yet then head over to this post to find out more.
You can also download the River of Life Handbook for FREE! It’s filled with amazing tools and will teach you how to better navigate the RIVER OF LIFE.
Ok! Let’s walk through The Take Back My Power, Get Back Into My Boat Checklist!
(1) Shift Your Perspective: It’s all just information!
This is one of the cornerstones here at Awaking To Your Story. Understanding that everything in your life can be seen as neutral information changes the game. It shifts the idea that life happens to you to an idea that life is happens for you.
That’s right, even this crappy situation you find yourself in, is there to help you. It’s designed to help you clean up any limiting beliefs that have been holding you back.
The crappy situation isn’t a punishment, it isn’t happening to you at all, it’s actually happening to help you! This is the first step that leads you to a place of inner power. But you have to be willing to shift from being the victim of the situation to being the victor who uses everything to help them thrive.
For our “friends leaving me out” example:
You find yourself in a situation where your friends are leaving you out. Rather then getting pulled down the negative spiral of despair and sadness where you are a victim of them not really seeing you for all that you are you stop and take a beat. Rather then looking out there at them you shift your focus back to your own heart and story and see that even this crappy situation is designed to help you get where you want to go.
(2) Make A Contract With Yourself: I am going to use this moment as an exercise to step back into my truth and re-pattern those limiting beliefs!
Once you have decided to be the victor of the situation and see it all as information to help you, then it’s time to make a contract with yourself.
It’s time to use the situation as an exercise to help you step back into your truth and re-pattern any thoughts, ideas or beliefs that are no longer serving your higher good. You get to use this situation as an exercise to build up the muscle of my inner truth.
Now if you don’t know what limiting beliefs are head over to this Video & Blog to help you learn more.
But you know what a limiting feeling feels like. You have the power to identify those feeling and the limiting beliefs that have gotten woven into your thinking. You don’t want to build up momentum or connection to the things that limit you. You want to build up momentum and connection to your Truth with a capital T. That’s your Essential Truth.
For our “friends leaving me out” example:
That negative feeling that they don’t want to be around you can lead you to believe that there must be something wrong with you. That can lead to thoughts like I’m not good enough, no one cares about me, I feel invisible and worthless…
When you make a contract with yourself to use the situation as an exercise it allows you to stay curious. You no longer take direction from those negative feelings but rather use them as indicators to help you find your truth.
Remember the limiting feelings are only truth (lowercase t) if you focus on them and claim them as your own. Feelings are not Truth they are helpful indicators.
(3) Face The Limiting Belief: It’s all an opportunity here to help me!
Once you identify the limiting beliefs that are part of this “exercise” that you are in, then it’s time to use them. It is always going to feel more powerful to use limiting beliefs as an opportunity to help you, then it is to follow it down that negative spiral of thinking and feeling.
This video and Blog will help you see just how powerful limiting beliefs can be when they are used as indicators in your life.
For our “friends leaving me out” example:
When you face those negative feeling that they don’t want to be around you, that there must be something wrong with you, that you’re not good enough, no one cares about you, where you are feeling invisible and worthless what do you find? When you aren’t looking out there at them but you are looking deep within your own heart and story what do you find that you really want?
You find a deep desire to feel connected. You find that you want to know your worthiness. You want that connection to fulfill a deep desire to validate who you are. You want to know that you are significant and that you matter. You want to feel good enough and you want to be seen.
See when you use those limiting thoughts as indicators to find what your heart really wants; it becomes and opportunity you step into a place where you have power.
(4) Decide For Yourself: Who do I want to be in this moment?
This one is huge because so often it feels like we don’t get to choose but the truth is you do get to choose. You always have to power to choose who you want to be and how you want to feel! And that is where the power lies in this 4th step, having the power to choose.
How often have you even thought about it? And then how often have you actually found away to take action on it? So really do it, ask your self these questions. Who do I want to be right now? How do I want to feel?
For our “friends leaving me out” example:
Do you want to keep walking around feeling left out and sad? Do you want to be the person who feels small, questioning your value and worth? Is that really who you want to be and how you want to feel?
Or, do you want to be a magnetic person that people want to be around? Do you want to be a person whose heart feels undeniably full? Do you want to be a person who’s worth and value are not determined by what other people think?
Can you even imagine! Choosing to be a person who’s heart is full and strong in it’s own self-belief. That is a person who truly knows and owns there Truth (with a capital T)!
(5) Claim Your Power: Recognize that I have the power to choose! “I have the power to choose not to be or I choose to be…”
Step 5 is where all of the other steps come together and you gift yourself permission to really be that person and own that Truth!
You have the power to choose to be whoever you want to be! You also have the power to choose who you don’t want to be!
Making room to live into this choice happens one thought and feeling at a time. “Claiming” is actively tending to your thoughts. Choosing the Truth over the limitation and choosing who you want to be over who they may see you as. Only you really have the power to define who you are in the story of your life.
Remember you are the main charter of your story and the writer who is writing it all into existence.
For our “friends leaving me out” example:
This is where you choose your truth over the limiting beliefs, and this is where you stop thinking about yourself the way they see you and you start seeing yourself the way YOU want to see yourself.
With every thought and feeling you’re building yourself up with loving-kindness. If a “not-enough-edness” feeling or thought of comes in you witness it and you choose to reach for a thought that is more aligned with who you really are.
So if you have a feeling of loneliness then you witness it and you reach for a thought like, “My people haven’t found me yet.” Then you reach for a thought like, “It’s going to feel thrilling to be able to connect with someone.” Then each for a thought like, “For now let me focus on the things that thrill me today so that energy of being thrilled will be second nature when we find each other.”
(6) Don’t Take On What Isn’t Yours: Know what is emotionally mine, and what isn’t.
This step is another game changer! Being able to decipher what emotionally belongs to you and what emotionally belong to someone else can literally set your heart free.
We all tend to carry other people’s emotional and even physical baggage around with us. We create our own mental, emotional and even physical suffering by holding on to what doesn’t even belong to us.
When you are in the middle of a challenging situation and you are working to step back into your power you have to be curious enough to figure out what is yours and what isn’t. Just ask yourself, “Does this emotionally belong to me or is this something I am willing to claim as my own?” From there you feel your way through trusting your heart and gut to help you decipher what is what.
For our “friends leaving me out” example:
When you find yourself being left out by a group of people the tendency is to focus on them and in doing that you end up leaving yourself out of the picture too. You accidentally carry around the weight of their opinion of you, or at least what you think it is.
When you start to see yourself through the leans of how other people see you then you give your power over to them.
So you reach for thoughts like this, “Your opinion of me isn’t mine. How you choose to see me isn’t really my problem or concern unless I make the decision to carry it around with me.”
It is always ok to call out what isn’t yours and what doesn’t really belong to you!
(7) Own Your Truth And Express It To The World: Decide what you want the people in the situation to know and how you want them to feel.
This step really just gives you permission to be the whole expression of yourself standing in your power. It isn’t about expressing yourself in a reactive way, where you feel like you have to prove something to someone. Rather it’s about expressing yourself from a deep knowing within, no proof needed because it is just an act of being.
When you decide what you want the people to know or how you want them to feel when they walk away from the situation it’s like creating an intention for your actions. It kind of acts like a filter for how you decide to show up in that moment. It is as simple as thinking, “I want them to know this and the goal is for them to feel this way.” You don’t have the power to control how people feel but can express how you want to feel and how you hope them to feel. This offer all parties a little bit more power!
For our “friends leaving me out” example:
There are endless ways for this example to be expressed. Just remember that it is not about pushing and proving it is about being.
So one way the example could play out is that you want them to know that you want to be included and that you are a value add to the group dynamic. You might want them to know you miss the fun you have when you are together. If you have gone through all the steps and you have gotten here then your heart is full without them and you have pumped up that thrill within your own being. So when expressed this to them you are doing it with the energy of being a person whose cup is full with or without them but you would rather it be with them because it’s fun.
Can you feel the difference between that and asking them to fill up your cup for you? That pushing to prove your sense of belonging in the group actually keeps you on the outside. But when you decide what you want them to know from a place of inner power then there is not pushing to prove anything anymore!
Now that we have worked our way through the steps I want to remind you that you can always do this post challenging experience. Taking this kind of conscious consideration for where your heart and mind are in the middle of a challenging situation might not be possible at first. But the more you come back to all of these steps or even a few of these steps then you offer yourself a greater opportunity to be in your own personal power!
If you have questions or need examples for how each step might work for your specific situation, send me a comment and I am happy to help you!
No matter where you find yourself in the midst of the challenging situation, I want you to know that you are worthy and powerful just as you are.
