Let’s talk about what to do when you feel like your life doesn’t matter.
I got a comment this week where someone described feeling left out and ignored by their friends. In addition they also felt like their family was busy and didn’t really care about them.
But it was their last sentence that caught me,“ I feel like ending my life would make no impact on anyone else’s life.”
I’ll be honest I have been there too… in a ball on my couch under the weight of life, wishing I wouldn’t wake up. Plagued by the feeling of being inconsequential, I knew that ending my life would mean nothing to the world around me.
Before I go any farther I want to give you the number to the National Suicide Hotline 800-273-8255 and also the Trevor Project 1866-488-7386. If the weight of your life is too much, before you do anything else, make the call.
This is what I have learned and what I want to share with you…
The one person’s life that I know for sure would be impacted by ending your life, is YOURS.
I know that if you feel like ‘not being’ would be easier then being where you are, then life must feel really hard and unmanageable. But ending your life would be the end of your story.
Maybe no one has told you the value of your story.
Maybe no one prepared you for the highs and lows, and the twists and turns that your story would take.
Maybe no one told you that YOU are the author of your story and the person living it into existence.
Maybe no one has stopped to teach you that you matter.
So let me say it to you now. YOU MATTER!
You are the author of your story and the main character living it into existence. You have the power there in your story.
Here are two things that helped me when I was in that place.
1.) Check Your Point Of Reference:
It’s helpful when you stop making the other people in your life your point of reference.
I know that friendship dynamics are challenging and so are family dynamics for that matter, but that being said they don’t have to be your main point of reference.
Don’t accidentally let a person or group of people become the main characters in YOUR story. These people in your life are all designed to be supporting roles in the story of your life.
It’s never going to feel good to focus on them and then compare yourself. Don’t weigh yourself down by the expectation for you to be different then are because of what you see in them.
When you are focused on “them” and are using them as a point of reference; wanting them to validate your worthiness, significance, and your value you are setting yourself up to be devastated when the don’t or can’t show up in the way that you need.
Don’t be tricked into thinking that your value comes from someone validating it for you, or that your worthiness is a gift that someone else bestows upon you. You are not significant because someone says it’s so. Your worthiness, value and significance are fundamental to you.
Listen your divinity wove your worthiness, value, and significance right into your humanity. Where you go, there it is. It is like breath, it’s always a working part of you and when you focus on it, then it has the power to gets deeper, broader, clearer and more energizing.
2.) Work On Your Own Heart And Story:
It’s time to focus here for a while. Focus on who you really are, on your intrinsic worth, value and significance and how you want to write and live the story of your life.
Make your own heart your point of reference. Figure out where you want to go and how you want to feel. Lean into this understanding that your life is a journey. You will be faced with highs and lows, twists and turn, challenges and transformations. You will be trudge through moments of abyss but you will also revel and bask in moments of pure light.
You have the power to fall in love with living your life. I know it can feel like a long road to get from feeling inconsequential to being in love with your story, but it all happens only one thought and feeling at a time.
It is time to fortify yourself with things that bring you back to your intrinsic joy and the wellspring of possibility in your life
I have lots of videos that can help you focus on your own heart and story:
- This one is about optimism practices.
- This one is about creating a self-love and growth mindset.
- This one is about what to do when life feels like a struggle.
- This one maps out what is going on in your emotional heart.
- This one is what to do when other people’s actions lead to self-bullying.
- This one is about feeling like you aren’t enough and people pleasing.
Listen YOU MATTER… YOUR LIFE MATTERS I will say it as many times as you need to hear it. But, your life has to matter to you and I am here to help in anyway that I can.
