Welcome to Awakening to Your Story the place to learn, get inspired and be supported with heart-centered solutions for your everyday life.

Today’s topic is all about being bullied.

Knowing how to deal with a bully can be hard, but I want you to know that you are not alone. That is why today we are going to look at what to do when you are being bullied, from a heart-centered perspective.

If you are watching this or reading this you probably know what it feels like to be bullied. You are probably no stranger to someone picking you apart, having the most insecure parts of yourself highlighted by someone else just to prove just how “less than” you are, or the sensation of wanting to shrink away into nothingness banished by someone else’s determination of you. Much like you I am no stranger to any of that, but I am here to help you get to the other side and help you learn how to take back the inner power that belongs to only you.

First of all it’s important to see that when you are being bullied you have 2 options. That’s right you have 2 distinct paths available to you. Once you clearly see both paths you then have the power to choose which one you take. Let’s look at both closely.

Path 1: Let’s call it Bully Boulevard

This is where you follow the bully’s idea of who you are:

• You let it sneak into your thinking and with every insecurity that they point out; a little bit more of your light gets dimmed until your own inner voice becomes dark and bleak.
• This path is designed to feel negative, reductive, and to cause you harm.
• Being on this path makes the bully your point of reference and allows them to become the writer, director and main character of your story.
• Your Negative Bias makes this the easiest path to choose because it keeps you unconsciously scanning what is wrong. (Negative Bias is a left over primal way of keeping the lions from eating you in the wild. You can learn more about that here) So when the bully point out the negative things you have already scanned about yourself according to your own negative bias, it is easy for you to believe it as if it were gospel.

Path 2: This is the road less traveled; let’s call it Self-Love Lane

This is the path less traveled because it means taking yourself off of autopilot and becoming an active participant in how your life gets played out.

• You double down on yourself on this path of thinking so that you can stand stronger in your own personal power.
• This path is designed to feel positive, more expansive and is designed to help you create ownership for who you really are.
• Walking down Self-Love Lane makes your own heart your point of reference and allows you to be the writer, director and main character of your story. This is the way your life was designed to be lived.

Now you get to make a conscience choice which path you want to take Bully Blvd. or Self-Love Ln. My hope is that you will choose Self-Love Lane but I know to do that you will probably need some tools, a broader perspective and someone to cheer you on and have your back. So let’s look at all three.

TOOLS:

• Point of Reference – Making sure your point of reference is on your own emotional heart and story is powerful because it allows you to determine how you feel. This tool will help you make sure your POR is not on something you have zero control over like the bully. Because you absolutely don’t want them determining how you feel.
• Inner Voice – You want to make sure the narrator of your story is you not the bully and this tool will help you double down on the power of owning your own voice.
• Positive Bias – Understanding how your brain works is everything when learning to protect it from a bully. This tool will help you take yourself off of autopilot and become an active participant in what you think and how you feel.
• Jellyfish Beach – As you become an active participant in what you think and how you feel this tool and analogy will make choosing the positive thought over the negative ones much easier.
• Stream Kayak Principle – This tool is a bit more advanced and will help you understand where you are in relationship to the world around you. It can also help you create a visual for what is happening when a bully chooses to bully you.

All of these Emotional Tools are designed to help you stay the main character, writer, and director of your own story, making sure that the bully doesn’t have access to your brain and emotional heart.

Spend as much time or more studying these emotional tools then you do recounting anything involving the bully. Your thoughts determine how you feel and you have the power to choose your thoughts! So set your focus learning these emotional tools and keeping yourself on Self-Love Lane!

A BROADER PERSPECTIVE:

Understanding some of the reasons why bullies do what they do can help you see the bigger picture. This perspective can help you literally rise above this situation and see yourself and the other person like player on a game board. You can see why they are making the moves that they are but you also have the power to not play their game.

Tearing someone down to build yourself up is one of the oldest games in the books. But I want you to know that it is only played by the weakest of people. The Stream Kayak Principle can help you understand that someone who is emotionally downing on the river of life will choose to try to hold your head under the water so that they can gasp for air. They knock you out of your boat in an attempt to survive themselves.

A person’s environment, other people, external circumstances can all contribute to the weakening of a person’s emotional state. It can be a learned behavior or one that is created out of shear desperation and self-preservation. A bully may want to direct your story because something has gone wrong in their story. Lack of control or power in their story may lead to them trying to take it over in your story. It is possible that they learned the behavior because they were bullied and they are just continuing a game that was push onto them. You never have to let their weakness become your own. You have to the power to choose what path you are going to take.

YOUR CHEERING SECTION:

Find the people in your life that love you for you, the people who see the positive in you long before they see any negative and, never old the negative against you. Maybe that is a parent or sibling. Maybe it is a teacher or friend. I do realize that sometimes it is those very people who are the ones who have become the bully. Seek out that positive person and tell them what is happening and have them join you as you learn the emotional tools that will help you change the game and make it easier to take Self-Love Lane.

I am also always here to cheer you on. I am here to listen or read your thought and stand with you so you don’t have to stand alone. I’m on your side and here for you. So please feel free to reach out to me and let me know what is on your heart. Leave me your comments or questions on the blog or on the video and until next time know that I am holding a place for you where we are walking down Self-Love Lane together.

Subscribe to my emails and my YouTube channel, like and share the video and blog, and until next time, know I am holding a place of love for you, where your is on the mend.

 

The Starter Kit, Hand Book and Emotional Tool Library are great FREE resources that can help you along the way!

The Emotional Tool Library allows you to pick and choose which tool to focus on according to what is going on in your life. Each video and blog walks you through an emotional tool and how to create a practical application to your situation.

If you enjoy a more hands-on approach the Awaking to Your Story Starter Kit – 3 Tools For Returning To Your Power is filled with exercise, audios, and videos that help step back into your power and map out your emotional heart.

 

 

You can also grab a copy of the Awaking to Your Story –Navigating the River of Life Handbook. You can never go wrong knowing where you are on the river of life and having to tools to help you through any turbulent situation. You can use the exercises inside to help you stay focused on your re-patterning process.