Awakening TV: Failing

Today’s Question:

Dear Alicia –

I feel like I am constantly failing. If I get it together in one area of my life there is always another that feels like the bottom is falling out. It’s one wrong move after another. How do I stop failing others and myself? – Searching for Success

My Answer For You:

This very human feeling of failing coupled with the limiting beliefs that you carry, can trick you into more suffering than is necessary for where you are. As we talk about this idea of failing I want to call out the voices in your head that are setting the standards, parameter, and goals for your success; then judge every last move that you make along the way. We all have them but we don’t all realize that we are intended to use them not blindly follow them.

There are tons of familiar anthem cries against failure; you know the ones that get made into posters:

• Failure is another stepping-stone to greatness – Oprah Winfrey
• Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently. – Henry Ford.
• Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. Robert Kennedy
• It’s failure that gives you the proper perspective on success- Ellen DeGeneres
• If you are not failing you are probably not moving forward. – John C. Maxwell
• We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated. – Maya Angelou

I could literally go on and on.

But here is the thing, when there is momentum behind the negative voices in your head, and you are in the midst of the feelings of failure and suffering, of the bottom falling out and making wrong moves, these quotes may not stand a chance against the to those negative voice in your head.

Let me ask you a really important question.

Are the negative voices directing you or are you using them?

If they are directing you, then you feel like they are coming at you. It can feel like you are being tossed around or are in a cycle of reaction from one thought to the next. The voices come at you like they know better than you. And the worst thing of all is that you believe them. They come in boss you around, make you feel bad, cut you off, shame you, limit you, and breed more suffering.

Those voices that are playing over in your head are actually limiting beliefs. These are echoes from other people who where suffering. They get handed down from one person to another. If the thoughts are negatively charged they are not yours and are not fundamental to you. Let me repeat that; if the thoughts are negatively charged they are not yours and are not fundamental to you. Oh sure, you picked them up and adopted them, but they are not part of the original divine and essential truth that was woven into your humanity. Limiting beliefs hold you in resistance to the source energy of love and life.

If this is where you find yourself don’t worry, a shift in perspective will help slow down the momentum. And get this; what I’m about to tell you will allow of this suffering and the notion of failing work for you.

Now if you are using them, the situation is a little bit different. You sit from a different vantage point. You know that if a thought comes in and it doesn’t feel good you can use it. Your feelings and those pesky voices in your head are indicators showing you where to pay attention. It’s like a giant neon sign saying USE THIS to help you clean up what is in your way.

3 Things That Happen When You Use The Negative Voices:

1. You figure out what you really want.
2. You work on a deeper healing within your story.
3. You re-pattern the limiting beliefs back to your essential truth.

Your feelings and the voices in your head are perfectly designed indicators of where you are and where your thoughts are leading you. The feelings you have and the language you use to describe them creates a perfectly illustrated road map to help you get to the very place you want to go.

Rather than reacting to the feelings, get curious about them. Rather than taking directions from the voices in your head, figure out what limiting belief they are highlighting. If you get carouse about them, you allow them to do their job and help you figure out what you really want.

The tribe member who wrote in didn’t just talk about failing and success, they used the words “bottom falling out” and “wrong move” to describe the situation that they are in. Those are powerful illustrations for where they are and if they use these feeling rather than take orders from them, they will actually get where they want to go.

A Deeper Look At The 3 Things That Happen When You Use The Negative Voices.

• 1 – Figuring Out What You Really Want:

So we know you want to feel success and to make the right moves. What about if you also feel like the bottom is falling out? What desire does that represent for you? Is it security or stability? What about strength? You have to get curious and figure out what desires you really have. Spend time here; giving those desires some language and some air to breathe.

As you deepen your relationship with these desires daydream about them, write about them, meditate on them, and pray about them. Spend more time in these thoughts than you do following the limiting beliefs. Let them become as much a part of your thoughts as anything else.

• 2 – Work On Deeper Healing In Your Story:

Those feelings of failing, the bottom dropping out, and making wrong moves, they all have an origin moment in your story. Now not everyone wants to do this part, but it is a tired and true way of healing that I have used for decades. When you try to find the origin story for the limiting beliefs, you ask when was the first time I felt this way. Then just stay open as you think back over the storyboard that is your life.

I love this because once you find that moment; it helps you see that the liming feelings are really a byproduct of a moment in time. It is not fundamental to you but actually contradicts what is fundamental to you. Those failing feeling around the bottom falling out or feeling like you are making a wrong move; they are in this present moment as a re-play of those moments in the past.

Now we work on this step by step in Awaking to Your Story the book and the Starter Kit. So if you need some extra help understanding this process you can always find more information and walk through it with both resources.

• 3 – Re-pattern the limiting beliefs back to the essential truth:

Re-patterning is my favorite because it changes the course of your thoughts and beliefs, creating huge momentum shifts that you can really feel. This is the place where you get to build up all the good feels about your essential truth, and where you are trying to go. Again write about it, daydream about it, dance about it and most importantly choose your thoughts about it as much as you can. You re-pattern one thought at a time and the more you think about it the easier it is to choose those thought that feel good about it.

We also take a deep dive into the process of re-pattering in the starter-kit so if you need some hands on exercises and analogies to bring this part to life I highly recommend grabbing yours HERE.

Ok, so it isn’t as much about failing, as it is about using whatever feelings you are having or whatever negative voices in your heads you are experiencing, to help you find your path forward. Once they have done their job as indicators, you can keep reaching for thought that incrementally feel better, and before you know it all of those anthem cries that cheer you on through the failures will feel true.

You are not alone in any of this. You can do it, I know that you can, because I have been there and I have had to pick myself up and use those feelings too.

Until next time, know that I am holding a place of love for you where your joy returns and your feelings of success are undeniable.

As you watch the video or listen to the podcast version, know that I holding a place of love for you where your path to your truth is undeniable.

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